The Life I Have: Essays on Fatherhood, Finding Judaism, and Illness

From the streets of Chicago to the hills of Jerusalem to the ruins of Chernobyl, Jay Litvin blazed a path of truth seeking, soul searching and passionate advocacy. In these essays he shares his thoughts, his doubts, his heartbreak and the joy of what it means to be the father of seven, a devoted husband, a spiritual seeker, and a person in treatment for late stage non-Hodgkins lymphoma. Jay’s essays are his immediate response to powerful experiences: a week visiting orphanages in Belarus (dumping grounds for children born with serious disabilities); a revelatory day spent as a patient hoping to save his life in an overcrowded, understaffed chemotherapy unit; a visit with his beloved sisters at the grave of their parents; an argument with his wife over a close friend’s marital infidelity; an aggravating and futile parent teacher conference, a sudden awareness of his imminent mortality; and the terrible grief of knowing he would be leaving his own children as orphans. This is the materiel Jay worked with, the incessant heartbeat of wanting justice, salvation, connection.These essays reward the reader with a renewed desire to pay attention to those we live with, work with, pray with, argue with, love. Read more